Escape Plans Unlimited

Today, my friends, I did another exercise from the Just Because Club. Today’s experiment consisted of writing down over a hundred captured moments. The book looks like this:

Inside, on page 27, you will find the instructions:

“Get yourself a set of 3 by 5 cards and a pen. Sit comfortably at a desk or table. Wait in quiet expectation for moments in your life to present themselves to your “remembrance.” As each moment presents itself write it down on a 3 x 5 card-one to a card. The time you fell on your face at the bus stop–write that on a card. ..”

The exercise goes on to say that I should continue for an hour or so and end up with 100 to 400 cards. I have neared about 200 cards now, in over an hour’s worth of writing them. The stream of memories feels so fucking vast that it presents a multi-headed hydra of a challenge.

1. This roaring beast almost knocked me out. The exercise presented no time limit, so I kept going after an hour. The stream of memories flows without end. You could go on forever, and really, each moment of taking the time to write out a memory on the card could find itself described on the next card, ad infinitum. So, I defeated trap number one. I stopped writing the cards. I caught myself in utter fascination over the vast ocean of memories toward which my vessel had departed. Good thing I saw the huge waterfall up ahead.

So, I stopped writing out the memories, for now.

2. The second head of the hydra comes in the form of too many memories at once to write down. They just keep coming, and once they get flowing, the experience of the moment disappears into the hands of ghosts.

3. The third head of this beast comes in the form of fantasy. The fantasy that I once had “the good life” under any of my circumstances past. Upon closer examination, challenges always had a way of entering my life. Pleasures and joys and laughter and tears. A great flow of life. I feel tempted to sentimentalize and glorify the past, and to damn myself and feel bad over mistakes made and wrongs done. All of these judgments have no relevance beyond their pitiful attempt to categorize the uncategorizable mysterious flow of life.

All language attempts to capture a present moment flow of experience. The instant you stop to describe ANYTHING at all that you observe, the moment in which you experienced the thing has already passed you by. These words can describe the future, or the past, both of which consist of ideas, formed and described in the past, while the present moment sits there right in front of them.  Do you follow?

4. Another head of the hydra comes along to convince me that the shit that arrives in my mind has great import for my life. The body and subconscious already contain everything necessary for me to adapt to any situation I could possibly encounter. I can learn and adapt in any sitution I find myself in, and I can determine to a large extent the types of situations I find myself in. Hence my deliberate striving for unknown and new experiences, in order to expand and enhance the perceptual foundation upon which my life takes place.

See, this hydra takes over the mind in a very short time. Digging around in the memories unleashes some kind of terrifying power and realization. Words cannot pretend to describe what I mean here. Somehow, my body understands and comprehends existence in its fullness, and yet it defies the logical mind’s ability to describe or analyze it. See how it makes the sentences and words get longer and longer and the content of what I write seems to hide behind the words, You can pick it up in the flow of the meanings you apprehend here. Come on, did you think about YOUR memories when I told you about the exercise? Did you get out a pack of notecards and write some of them down?

If so, leave me some trippy comments to let me know how the beast has treated you. The book lists further exercises that will occur with the use of the cards…. Hm. Also, have any of you ever heard of that book that some french dude wrote that used No letter “e” in the entire book? Then, the english translation also uses no “e” in the whole book either. Crazy. I think the library here might have it. More on that next time.

Love, wildness, chaos, joy….