Today, in addition to the last 5 or so posts I have shared with you, here is another one.
This one is the initial post I intended to do for the day. Again, I opened up my faithful Deck of Captured Moments (click on the link to read the first post that explains the Deck of Moments), and followed some more instructions from my copy of the Just Because Club book:
Today, the book told me to go through all of the cards and segregate them into two piles. One of these piles I was to designate as “sparkling moments” and the other, as “moments not defined as sparkling.”
This time, I noticed patterns moving underneath my selection of moments. The sparkling moments can be sparkling no matter their emotional content, or whether they were “positive” or “negative” in my eyes. So, I have separated them into two piles, and the patterns inherent underneath my moments have started to develop into some clarity.
The main underlying pattern has to do with “losing” my mother, first as a young child, when she got busy with her life, and the luster of me as the new thing went gray. Second, when she had my sister, I likely felt this as some kind of second loss of mother….Oh yeah, make those last two 2 and 3, because the first time I “lost” my mother was right after I popped out from between her legs…
And the fourth time I lost her was when I moved out of her house. The fifth time was when she died, in February of 2002. This loss of a mother, for a momma’s boy like me, has defined much of my ways of interaction with women, especially in the realm of jealousy and monogamy.
I am not going to share too many details with you on that front for now, save to say that if you get the Just Because Club book and do this series of exercises, you will discover a hell of a lot about yourself, if you are ready to discover yourself, that is.
Does anyone else out there conduct experiments like these? If so, leave me a comment and let me know.
More and more later on…
